One Size Fits Most

At least she's thankful for something

2005-11-30T06:01:00.000-08:00

Today I found something DQ had brought home from school that she made last
week. Its a cornucopia she colored and on the front she was supposed to
fill in what she is thankful for. Only she is still turning her b's and d's
around and getting them mixed up so this is what it said:

Contry (I guess country?)
Mom and bad
brother
cat
bog

I guess that means GB is bad and what is a bog?

There's nothing going on here, please move along....

2005-10-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

Another warning

2005-10-19T07:11:00.000-07:00

I hate people who forward too many warnings as much as anyone, but
this one is important! Send this warning to everyone on your e-mail
list!
If someone comes to your front door saying they are conducting
a survey on deer ticks and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around to shake off the ticks, do not do it! IT IS A SCAM; they only want
to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid now.

Just when you thought the ride was over...

2005-10-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

We found out today that my Mother-in Law has breast cancer. Its that
feeling all over again....you're on a roller coaster and its going up the
big hill and the chain pulling you up is going
"chk.....chk.....chk.....chk....chk...." and you know what is next. Only
you dont REALLY know.

The cure for boredom

2005-10-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

Ok heres what you gotta do:
Go to your fave search engine thingy
Enter yournamehere needs
Tell the first 10 responses

Here we go!

1.Larisa needs guidance to be strong and face all
the demons that are in her life right now (Yikes! who knew?)

2.LARISA: Needs a big steak to go with it. MILL STREET TANKHOUSE ALE
(Toronto)
341ml, $10.35/6-pack * * * * *, (no thanks I just ate)

3.In the future when Larisa?s new movies are released there will be plenty
of fan
excitement but for now Larisa needs and deserves her own space. (please
give the queen some space...I cant breathe)

4.LARISA needs to receive and maintain records that contain some PHI about
you to
administer. LARISA and provide you with health care benefits, ...(huh?)

5.Larisa needs desperately the win to continue their chase for the
promotion, after they lost many points on the road. (Uh, I dont play sports)

6.but first Larisa needs a visa, which means she and her new husband have
been
wading through enough paperwork to choke an IRS wonk. ..(please no more
Credit Cards!!)

7.There are many things that Larisa needs to know about
John, and this is the tip of the iceberg (who the heck is John??)

8.However, in order to leave for Israel, Larisa needs to have written
permission
from their mother. At the moment the mother is not around, and the family
(If I get written permission from my mother, we got other problems!!)

9. Larisa needs someone to talk to, and I chafe in the position. the air
between you Two has to be cleared. (now who have I pissed off?)

10.You're right Alpha and I think Larisa needs supervision,(because you know
I cant be left alone for even a MOMENT).....

Now GO!

Not much happening here

2005-10-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

OC is doing good, we're reading Chronicles of Narnia every night, school's
good, work's good (for me anyway). Big Daddy's name is probably going to
change soon to Not-So-Big-Daddy cause he's losing ALL THIS WEIGHT AND ITS
MAKING ME ILL. No really he's doing really good with his diabetes on his
diet and exercising 5 days a week (snark). I'm proud of him. I havent
gained any of mine back (yet) and even GB has lost a few. Between not
having junk in the house and not being able to eat bread because of his
appliance, he's lost about 4 pounds (GB that is). Then there's DQ who needs
every calorie she can get. We can all just scrape our carbs onto her
plate!!
Speaking of DQ, she and I got called back for a play today at 2pm. Tell us
to break a leg!!

2005-09-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

<center><a href="http://spacefem.com/quizzes/evil/"> <img
src="http://www.spacefemmites.com/limg/0905/evil/1.gif" border=0><br> Raw
evil score: 0%</a></center>

And BTW...

2005-09-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

I"m down to 253, y'all!

Frickin....fracking..mmmph *&%$#@#$%^

2005-09-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

My palm pilot, ok dinosaur palm pilot went on to the other side today.
But it took with it all my inner information such as dr appt and phone #s
and work schedule.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

5 questions

2005-09-23T15:49:00.000-07:00

1.If you had to work retail, what store would you choose?
Coldwater Creek
2. Without peeking, do you have a Neopet?
No. I dont even know what that is.
3. Have you ever imagined yourself as an Earl or Countess?
No. See #2
4. When is the last time you did "punch-buggy - no punches back?"
Probably yesterday. I have young children.
5. What do you order to drink if you are in a bar?
Diet Crack, er, I mean Diet Coke. Yes even in a bar!

Please pray for our friend Lee

2005-09-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

Please pray for our friend Lee who went to Houston to be with his Dad who is dying but now he cant get home.

check this out

2005-09-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.xanga.com/private/home.aspx?user=smockaholic

my "other" blog

News about my Dad....its good!!

2005-09-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

Today we went for a followup with the oncologist. He said he was impressed
by how good he looks. He also said that he actually has air movement in
that lung, whereas before he didnt. So he is going in 2 weeks for another
CT scan and see the dr again to see if it is shrinking.
His red count is still low, but better than before. He will have to
continue to get injections for that every 2 weeks for about another month
and a half.
Thanks for all your prayers. This is the first piece of good news we have
had since this whole thing started. My dad was really encouraged!!

Update on OC

2005-09-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

Today we're going to the oncologist and to get another shot for his low red
count. He is looking a little pinker these days, the shot must be working.

If you need me tomorrow....

2005-09-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

I'll be watching SpikeTV's Labor Day CSI Marathon!

Divine, indeed!

2005-09-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to my new favorite group, Il Divo. Il Divo means
"Divine Performer" or "Male Diva." In case you havent heard about them,
its a group formed by Mr Nasty himself, Simon Cowell. He searched the world
over to find 4 awesome singers, one each from the US, Spain, France, and
Switzerland. All 4 have a pretty good resume of musical training and
experience. Not to mention they are HOT! Go to their website
www.ildivo.com to check them out!!

And a good time was had by all...

2005-09-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Last night 6 little 7yearolds and I had a throwdown party. First we had
snacks and then presents. We watched Muppet Wizard of Oz and painted
fingernails, with the assistance of the beautiful and fun Nana . At about
930 we went to Sonic for drinks in our pajamas (not me of course!! what if
someone saw me???). While at Sonic we partook of the cookiecake and ice
cream. Then I/uh, WE concocted a scheme to vandalize/uh, DECORATE Nana's
yard with toilet paper streamers. It needed it, ok!! The girls were about
to die they thought it was the funniest thing!! (all except for one who was
quietly protesting by refusing to participate, we'll call her Miss
Goodconscience) Plus GB was spending the night over there. But alas he did
not even see it for Pop cleaned it up before sunup. Then this morning we
had the special guest "Local High School Cheerleader" come over and teach
the little varmits a few cheers. Funny how last night they were so loud I
had to put pillows over each ear but this morning they were church mice.
Tonight the party is going out on the town for some good steak. Yeah thats
what the 7yearold wants!! (its really for BD who worked hard in the yard
today! You rock!)

Welcome!

2005-08-31T13:12:00.000-07:00

Seems OC has found the blog...WELCOME!
Now I'm up to 3 readers!
WooHoo!

Whats your SuperPower?

2005-08-28T19:24:00.000-07:00

The SuperPower Family:
Lullaboy
Dancigirl
WorryWoman
DiabeticDaddy

Not much happening here

2005-08-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

But if you need me for something, I'm the one with my nose pressed to the TV
which is tuned to the Weather Channel.
Prayers for everyone in the Gulf Coast, especially New Orleans.

Found: Lost Breasts

2005-08-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

Bra with side air bags does a good job of holding them where they are
supposed to be, as opposed to in the armpits!

Here's the Latest

2005-08-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

Since my one and only blog reader (hi Big Daddy!!) has complained of the
lack of new posts lately, here's an update:
I had an unfortunate incident this morning with a tomato, chef knife, and
thumb. Kind of like rock, paper, scissors. Long story short, the knife
beats thumb. Big Daddy takes me to get it stitched up. Took a LOOOONG
time! Big daddy had to leave the room. Big Daddy's lips were white as his
skin. Thumb now wrapped in pretty white gauze. Lucky me blood doesnt show
up in tomato.

OC doing pretty well. 6 more radiation treatments and 3 more chemo
treatments now that Mr Low White Count is out of isolation. He may even
come to church tomorrow, as long as he brings the antibacterial hand gel.

Scored one new 14 year old babysitter who lives, get this, NEXT DOOR! Woo
Hoo! Hopefully we will be able to abuse, er I mean use her at least until
she turns 16 and gets a life.

DQ and GB having a swell time at school this year. So far no illnesses or
complaints (GB had mono the first day of 2nd grade). GB gets his appliance
put in on Sept 6th. The orthodontist said the best thing is when he is bad,
I get to crank it twice!!

And last but not least, I'm still married to the best guy a girl like me
could ask for. Thats you, Big Daddy, my one and only blog reader!!

Beware!!

2005-08-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

Ladies BEWARE....................

This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet and an
explanation to those friends and family who have.
Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out. Well, the kidney story was a hoax but this
one is real.
It's happening every day. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a
few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke
up with someone else's thighs that have the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who
would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine. I spent the entire
summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself
to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.
Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was
next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new
rear end to the thighs they stuck me
with earlier. However, they attached it badly -- at least three inches lower
than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic,
I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning
I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of
my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was
really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a
time.
How clever and fiendish. Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed
to creep
up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly
and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do
to me next?

My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now
resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the
medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the
coffee. I now realize where those surgeons are getting their replacement
parts. They really aren't plastic like they claim. The next time you
suspect someone has had a face 'lifted,' look again.
Was it lifted from you??

I think I finally found my thighs and I hope that Cindy
Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town
every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I
was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved
to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep
them hidden in my waistband.

Good news and bad news

2005-08-08T07:46:00.000-07:00

Ok which do you want first???
Ok the "good" news....I got a tattoo on my left ankle. Its a "rebellious
but safe" butterfly. I wanted a trinity knot but they didnt have any
examples of that and I didnt want anyone tattooing willy nilly on my skin
without a picture to go by. But butterfly was my 2nd choice because the
Bible says we are a new creation and that is how butterflies are when they
come out of their cocoons. Plus they didnt have any pink flamingoes.

The "bad" news...BD is diabetic. Which will probably be a good thing in the
long run, because we will all eat healthier and benefit. We can just scrape
all the carbs off our plates onto DQ's plate so she can get some calories.
All of herself 53 pounds fully clothed dripping wet. Hmmmph.

And the kids started school today. Gee, its quiet here.

Goodnight, Peter

2005-08-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

Peter Jennings has died of cancer. That makes me sad for 2 reasons....#1
I'm a news junkie. He's such an icon.....#2 My dad.

No chemo for you today, Mr Low White Count!!

2005-08-03T13:42:00.000-07:00

He was just dancin a jig when they told him he couldnt have his treatment
today. Its not like he got off on good behavior or anything.
He does appear to be feeling well, but what we dont need is for him to get
septic and end up in the hospital with some funky infection.

Summer is almost over. The kids start school on Monday. In lieu of
uniforms the school system has decided to tighten up the school dress code.
I can see this being a great big thorn in my side. Some of the rules are
concrete, such as you have to wear a belt if your pants have belt loops.
You must tuck in your shirt. However, the length of shorts is open to
interpretation, as is "no shower shoes." So do Crocs count as shower shoes?
What about Birkenstocks?? Ok if we are going to have some rules, make them
concrete and all interpret them the same.

The mini-honeymoon is now over, as I have more Mt Laundry to climb.

Jackpot!!

2005-07-31T15:49:00.000-07:00

I won the husband lottery!!
15 years ago I married the best guy in the world. For our 15th anniversary
he took me as a surprise to Hot Springs (where we went on our short
honeymoon). He planned the whole thing without my knowledge, down to
calling my supervisor and getting me the day off work (Friday) and making a
reservation for Six Million Dollar doggie at the puppy hotel.
We stayed at the Arlington and had the whole spa thing and nice dinner out
and shopping and TAKING A NAP WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.
Now, its not just that he did such a great thing for our anniversary. But
as I look back over the 15 years I see all the great things he's done for me
while putting up with a lot of CRAP. And never batting an eye. I mean, he
even cut my dad's toenails while he was in the hospital! Thats true love!!

Power Outage

2005-07-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

Power Outage During Mammogram
I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!"
This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear tilted her head to one
side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee,
strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a
perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60
seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything
nice....it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold
4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can
get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use
the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob
wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt
a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! "What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the
door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ... the door's wide open
so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba
and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of
me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or
possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible.
"Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been
standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no
attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh I am soooo sorry! The power
came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.
Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps........

Update on OC

2005-07-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

Old Crusty seems to be doing pretty well. He fired the sitter because "I
dont need her." Ok fine you dont right now but what about when you get
sicker from your treatments?? And he is getting out now some on his own.
Duh! I cant take him every day. Yeah, well he doesnt need me so much now.
I'll get over it.
So tomorrow I'm going with him for his chemo. Sure wish I remembered to go
by the knitting store to get those knitting needles so I'd have something to
do.

And now for the lighter side:
Top Ten Jokes for Today
10. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
9. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".
8. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
6. What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
5. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
4. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
3. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
2. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal
thermometer?
The taste.
1. Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

New Camp Song

2005-07-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

(sung to the tune of frere jacque):

Revelation, Revelation
28:1, 28:1
Liars go to hell, Liars go to hell,
Burn burn burn, burn burn burn

New Camp Song

2005-07-18T16:01:00.000-07:00

(sung to the tune of frere jacque):

Revelation, Revelation
28:1, 28:1
Liars go to hell, Liars go to hell,
Burn burn burn, burn burn burn

Oh, and by the way....

2005-07-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

A fork works really well to scratch a sunburn on your back when your
husband/significant other/child isnt around! Or try Barbie feet!

School Supplies R Us

2005-07-15T15:10:00.000-07:00

I went to the local Target today and spent a whopping 68.00 on school
supplies....and that wasnt everything!! I still have to get the stuff that
you can only get in the bookstore and plus the wipies and kleenex.
Whose idea was it to have kids anyway?? Geez!

Oh and one more thing

2005-07-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

The HR dept at my hospital called me today (in my head: "uh, am I
fired???") to tell me I won tickets to see VeggieTales!! Woo Hoo!

If you need me, I'll be over in the doorway trying to scratch my sunburn on
the door jamb.

Honey!! I'm Home!!

2005-07-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

We're home from our much needed beach trip. In summary, we had a great
time. We were in Folly Beach, SC for a few days with some friends and then
stopped in Atlanta on the way home and went to Underground Atlanta and World
of Coca Cola. We all got our token sunburn, even DQ my brown child (I dont
tan, I burn and freckle).
My SS class took dinner over to OC every night while I was gone, and BD
looked in on him. He started his radiation treatments on Monday and even
had his first chemo yesterday. Still says he doesnt feel any different.
Now its time to climb Mount Laundry!!

Beach bound after all

2005-07-07T03:40:00.000-07:00

Looks like me and the kids will be leaving for SC on Sat. I think OC will
be good to go for at least another week or two with his treatments. I'll be
having people looking after him while I'm gone (thanks y'all).
I'm probably gonna need it.

We miss Daddy.

Happy Birthday to Us

2005-07-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday America!

My husband is in Canada, so he wont be celebrating this one. He is helping
with youth and kids whose parents are attending the Canadian Baptist
Convention. Please come home soon, honey!!

My dad seems to be doing well these days. His treatments start on the 11th.
His antidepressant seems to be working, we shoulda done that 5 years ago!!

I let the kids stay outside with the neighbors who were (illegally)shooting
fireworks in the cove until 1030 pm. What got into me?? They are still
snoozing at 926am.

Going swimming this afternoon. Gonna be a hot one!!

Its TOO MUCH!!

2005-07-02T07:29:00.000-07:00

You have GOT to listen to THIS:

http://www.squizzle.com/soundview.asp?id=383

Its TOO MUCH!!

And one more thing....

2005-06-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

I'm down to 256!
Woo Hoo for me!!

Update on Jack

2005-06-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

The latest on Jack is...he's home from the hospital and doing a little
better. He's on oxygen now, probably for good. We're going tomorrow to
meet the Radiation Oncologist. He also gets a Portacath (under the skin
thingy so he doesnt have to get stuck in his veins for meds and blood
draws). But his spirits are a little better (thanks to Lexapro) and I'm
trying to fatten him up.
But I'm so thankful that my SS class has been taking dinners over to HIM.
Thats a small thing but one less I have to think about. I'm also thankful
that he has good insurance. I cant imagine having to go thru this with also
having a financial burden.

OC home soon!

2005-06-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

Looks like OC will be coming home tomorrow. With oxygen and a home health nurse. I'm really anxious
for him to come home so he will be on the road to getting his strength back. Being in a bed in a room all
by yourself for 2 weeks can be so depressing.
Hopefully this time tomorrow we'll be having a "Welcome Home Jack/Dad" party!!

Update on OC

2005-06-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

Dad is still in the hospital. They are still doing stuff to him to see what
they are going to do about the cancer. He seems to have good spirits,
though. He wont let me do much for him but I go up there anyway. I'm all
he's got!!

On the bright side, Dad accepted Christ Friday night after BD spent some
time with him sharing! That's awesome!! Such an answer to prayer!!

Hurricane Watch

2005-06-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

Not that I live in the gulf coast area or anything, but I find myself glued
to the news whenever there is a hurricane. So if you need me, I'll be
watching the Weather Channel.

More bad news

2005-06-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

Long story short, Dad (old crusty) has been in the hospital since Monday
nite. He has heart failure, pneumonia, and now we learned today he has lung
cancer. There. I said it.
He took it better than I did. So far we dont have alot of info, only that
its only in 1lung and if it hasnt spread, they are going to take it out if
his lung function is good enough.
Now I'm going to go throw up.

Well there's bad news....and there's good news......

2005-06-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ok first the bad....my Dad (old crusty) is in the hospital with heart
failure and something with the lungs which we dont know yet. His heart
labwork was waaaay off, so that will probably buy him some big tests and
stuff. He's mildly SOB (thats nurse-speak for short of breath, not what you
were thinking) and on oxygen and has either pneumonia or a "mass" in his
lung. That was when I started feeling all hot inside, when they said mass.
It hung in the air like humidity. But I'm not stayin up there, you hear
me?? He never stayed with mama.
The GOOD news is that I went by WW today to weigh and I lost some more! I've
actually broken 270 now down to 267!! Woo Hoo!! I'm a 10 pounder!!

Quick! Get her a job writing Hallmark cards!!

2005-06-06T06:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend BD asked DQ "How much do you love me?" (Its a game we
play...you know from here to the moom and back, etc) And her reply was "If
my love was numbers I couldnt count that high"
*Sniff*

You Might Be a Redneck Jedi....

2005-06-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

You Might Be a Redneck Jedi If...

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
Strawberry Hill.

You can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.

You have a singing fish hanging from the rear view mirror of your X-Wing.

You have ever used The Force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.

You have neon lights under your landspeeder.

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

You consider your light saber as the ultimate bug zapper.

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really cool sheets.

Your Jedi mentor ever said "Hey, pull my finger..."

Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.

A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You pick your teeth with the light saber.

You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have
to wait for a commercial.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark
side... it'll be a hoot."

Darth Vader has ever said, "Luke I am your father, and your uncle"

Daddy's Home!!

2005-06-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy got home yesterday at 4pm. We had gone and gotten a banner that
said Welcome Home and the kids wanted balloons so I let them talk me into
one of those kits where you get the helium tank and everything. So we hung
it all outside with the balloons. It looked great!
Daddy's all tired and hoarse but he's better today. I dont know who had
more fun, the kids or him.
Gonna go breathe some more helium......We welcome you to munchkin land la la
la la la la la la la la la la..............

Off on a Friday??

2005-06-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo for me! We only had 13 pts on the schedule today so I took a Lack
Of Work (LOW) day! (The best part is I'm off Monday so thats 4 days in a
row!!) The kids had at first said they wanted to go to day camp anyway, but
this morning they changed their minds. So we went to Blue Plate for
breakfast (yum) and got the truck washed and then we went to the party store
and got balloons and a Welcome Home banner for Big Dadddy. He's on the way
home YIPEE! It was fun the first day or so but then we started missing him
really bad. Its just not the same without him.
On a funny note, on the way to breakfast we saw this chick riding her bike
down the street. She had on jeans and a crop top. They must have been low
riding jeans CAUSE YOU COULD SEE HER BUTT CRACK! We all laughed. Poor
thing! JUST SAY NO TO CRACK!
ha ha

Got new sheets

2005-06-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

Its so sad that something as mundane as new sheets on the bed can thrill me. I got some 400 count sheets and man are they slick. I thought I would slide right out of the bed. Nice!!
The kids have been taking turns sleeping with mom since Big Daddy is gone for the week. I just dont sleep good when he's not there.
Big Daddy called last night and he was hoarse. I said "What have you been doing, screaming?" He said "yea they took the bullhorn away from me"
Oh my I'm sure I'll hear all about it when he returns tomorrow.

All Alone

2005-06-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

The kids are off on a field trip with day camp and I'm all alone....its my day off! Woo Hoo for me!!
So I think I'll wash some clothes and have lunch with my dad and get some new sheets for the bed. Thats one of those things you never do...like get new socks....until you just HAVE to.
The elastic is coming off the fitted part so I guess its time.
We went and saw Madagascar last night...it was cute as far as kids movies go. Hey, it was free!

Read a really great book!

2005-05-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is why I never read books...when I get a good one I cant put it down. I read this one in 2 days. And the only reason it took that long was that I had to work and sleep. This book is The Next Big Thing by Johanna Edwards www.johannaedwards.com . Its set in Memphis (!) and is about a curvy chick who gets the guy!! Woo Hoo!! I was reading it while riding the bike at the Rec Center and laughed out loud!! It was cool to have it set in Memphis, she mentions some sites in her book. The main character Kat (rhymes with FAT) goes on a reality show called From Fat to Fabulous.
Which brings me to my next subject....why do men lose weight faster than women?? I've lost 7.6 pounds on WW (go me!) and Big Daddy has lost 10 WITHOUT EVEN TRYING OR COUNTING POINTS it just aint fair. Oh well I am happy really but it just aint fair.
Another thing that just aint fair....he's going to the beach for 5 days and I'm stuck at home with the kids. No, really he is going to Middle School camp with church and I'm going to stay home and work and keep the kids....I wouldnt trade places with him. Thats ok me and the kids are going to "party" (read: eat cereal for supper) while Big Daddy is away. What, you think I'm actually gonna COOK? NOT!
Saw Monster in Law with my Sister in Law last night (and we NEVER do anything together). It was funny and let me tell you Jane F. is looking old. WAAAY too many closeups.

Finally....

2005-05-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

91. I've lost 5.6 pounds since I started Weight Watchers.
92. I've been doing Yoga and riding the bike at the gym.
93. I also got new undies!
94.Sometimes you just have to splurge for new undies.
95. Now my boobs are front and center.
96. Instead of down and out.
97. As Warrick Brown (CSI) says, "Theres nothing sadder than a woman with raggedy drawers"
98. I feel better.
99. I can walk up one flight of stairs without needing the Harvey Team.
100. Done!

Busted!

2005-05-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...

Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.

To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.

Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better individually or as a matched set.

Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.

You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy.

ou find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.

When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.

Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.

After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse’s ear, "Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++"

You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid.

You've called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second.

You've questioned your sanity because of the price you've bid... more than once.

You've changed all your clocks to "eBay official time (PDT)."

You've bid on something even though the picture doesn't show up correctly.

You've purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more.

You've rolled your eyes at the word "antique" or "vintage" used on something made in the past decade.

You've gritted your teeth each time you've clicked on a description that uses the word "L@@K."

You've turned up the volume on your email alert so you'll never miss an Outbid Notice.

You've made "My eBay" your default home page.

You've emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details.

You've come to rely on "convenience cash" from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that.

You've earned a "Shooting Star" Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases!

You won't go to estate auctions because they don't take PayPal.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

Life without keys

2005-05-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

Short story....lost keys....get new ones.....lots of money.....

Absolutely Fabulous

2005-05-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

I had an absolutely fab Mother's Day. Big Daddy tilled up 2 new flowerbeds, which enpowered me to get new flowers! He worked really hard, but it looks great. Then I got a gc for a massage. MMMM cant wait! THEN I got some cute plants in cute pots that my kids made AND some pics of my kids from Glamour Shots that was a total surprise!
But bummer today I'm home with GB who has strep. BIG tonsils. He's not really "sick" just contagious, which means I missed DQ's field day, dangit. I should be doing laundry since I'm homebound but Nah, I think I'll surf!
Going to check out some cars on autotrader.
Later

Now I'm a dent head

2005-05-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

Now that the incision on my forehead is healing well, I have a dent there!
I'm sure it will fill in as time goes by!

Knot-free!

2005-04-25T06:22:00.000-07:00

I had the knot on my forehead finally removed on Friday!
No more knothead!!
But I'm a little swollen and I look like Mike Tyson.
Somehow I dont think thats an improvement.
Stay tuned.

Test your drawing skills

2005-04-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/index.asp

Good Luck!

More insane things

2005-04-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

Larisa Marie Arthur's Aliases

Your movie star name: Chips Sherman

Your fashion designer name is Larisa Paris

Your socialite name is Doll NYC

Your fly girl / guy name is L Art

Your detective name is Penguin Frayser

Your barfly name is Mint Wine

Your soap opera name is Marie Avalon

Your rock star name is Snickers Plane

Your star wars name is Lardix Artbil

Your punk rock band name is The Mellow Magnet

The Amazing Meganame Generator

marsha, Marsha, MARSHA!!!

2005-04-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family.
Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Where do I give my $$5.00???

2005-04-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

For all you Final Four and Superbowl fans:
http://www.drewmarlowe.com/pictures/brackets.jpg

*snicker*

The End is Near!!

2005-04-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

81.I never had any Fisher Price Little People when I was growing up.
82.I also never had a Mrs Beasley doll.
83.But I'm better now that I'm on medication.
84.I can roll my tongue.
85. So can my children.
86. But not Dad.
87. I can also wiggle my nostrils.
88. So can my children.
89. I'll have to check on dad about that.
90.We're almost there!!

Weight watchers.....again

2005-04-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

It seems we are going to join WW at work. (Sigh).
Maybe this will be "the time".
Some at work are really doing good on it.
I'll let ya know.

Such a bad mommy!!

2005-03-25T15:24:00.000-08:00

Did the unthinkable today....bought an Easter dress from a store for DQ to wear.
(Sniff)
DQ said, "Its ok mommy"

Seen wearing flybacks and bellbottoms.....

2005-03-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

You Belong in 1978

1978

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Exactly what else can I find on quizilla??

2005-03-23T13:59:00.000-08:00

Abigail Lockhart

Which ER Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Trying to finish up...

2005-03-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

71. Still no Easter sewing has occurred at my house.
72. I took Dixie to get her stitches out today.
73.Now stinky dog can have a bath.
74.100 things is A LOT of things.
75.I have a new favorite ice cream flavor...creme brulee at Baskin Robbins.
76. My previous fave was German Chocolate Cake ice cream.
77.They only have that one about 1 month out of the year.
78. Thats 11 months with no German Choc Cake.
79. Are we done yet?
80.How many days until Easter??

And now back to the program....

2005-03-21T12:43:00.000-08:00

56. I am going to learn to play the guitar.
57. I used to play the violin.
58. I've never played poker.
59.I've played handbells for 10 years.
60.My son plays the piano.
61.He's pretty good.
62.I knit, therefore I am.
63.My husband is a great salesman.
64.He could sell ice to an eskimo.
65.He's a terrible speller.
66.Sometimes he paints my toenails.
67. I'm so spoiled!!
68. Did I tell you I'm spoiled??
69.Its a good thing because not many people would put up with me.
70.Are we done yet?

Not THOSE kind of nits...

2005-03-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

You are a NITPICKER! You just can't suspend your
disbelief enough to ignore the fact that the
dead guy just breathed, and you can't help
pointing out that you really can't process DNA
in half an hour.

What kind of CSI fan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yea, baby!

2005-03-19T11:05:00.000-08:00

Grissom

Who's Your CSI Dream Guy?
brought to you by Quizilla

Homecoming for Dixie

2005-03-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

Dixie got to come home yesterday. Yipee! A sick dog! She is a lot better, though. She's on 3 medicines and some icky canned food which she wont eat. But she is A LOT better. I guess I'm going to be on call for the rest of my life. New van, go to the bottom of the list.
Today is the last day of spring break. We are going to Putt Putt (DQ won free wristbands) and then when we get home, the cleaning lady fairy will have come! Hey, everyone gets a treat!
And I have done exactly NO Easter sewing!

Update on Dixie aka Garbage Gut

2005-03-15T11:21:00.000-08:00

Well Dixie ended up having surgery yesterday about 430....They found not one but two obstructions. One in her stomach and one in her large intestine. Unidentified but looked like bone mixed with squirrel hair. She was so sick after the surgery they wanted to transport her to the Emergency overnight clinic but I told them I had already paid them enough and couldnt I just bring her home...hello I'm a nurse. But instead one of the vet techs took her home and kept her. I just hugged her neck. That was so sweet! (I bet her family really LOVED that!) She's doing better today but still too sick to come home. So keep on praying for Dixie....and my checkbook!!

Poor Dixie

2005-03-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

We had to take our dog, Dixie, to the vet yesterday....the EMERGENCY vet....she was vomiting. She has a history of garbage gut three times...an unidentified object that warranted a surgery, a sewing needle/rubber band combo that bought her some sedation, and a corn cob. So they kept her overnight and pumped her full of fluids and medicine. We picked her up this am and she is still SOO sick. We took her labs and xrays over to our vet and they are keeping her and doing some more tests. She looked so pitiful. They think it could either be garbage gut (although nothing showed up on xray)or pancreatitis. So say a prayer for Dixie today.

Get out of the way

2005-03-10T05:54:00.001-08:00

If you dont know how to use the self-checkout at (fill in the blank here with your favorite local grocery store)....then DONT....just get out of the way and let me check out my groceries and go home.

Get out of the way

2005-03-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

If you dont know how to use the self-checkout at (fill in the blank here with your favorite local grocery store)....then DONT....just get out of the way and let me check out my groceries and go home.

Tip of the day...

2005-03-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

Never pour Sprite in your iron.

An update....

2005-02-24T12:11:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm feeling much better since my (urp) GI incident at my friend's house. But EVERYONE at work is having laughs at my expense. Hmph.
My gyn woes have ceased, at least for the present time. We'll see what happens when I get to the end of the medicine.

I had the annual review of GB's APEX (gifted class) progress. The teacher and his homeroom teacher just went ON and ON about how bright and smart he is and he's so willing to help out others in the class and blah blah blah. I thought, "Am I in the right meeting? Is this the same kid who cries when I tell him to take out the trash?" Well at least he is good in public. No, really, I know he's a great kid. Just a normal great kid.

Switched my work schedule today so I could fix Drama Queen's hair for school pics. She picked a headband, and still went to school in tears. Go figure.

We interrupt this program....

2005-02-20T07:06:00.000-08:00

To make a long story short, I went to the gyn Friday, and it was not the most fun thing I've ever done. I've been having terrible cycles and she did and exam and biopsy. Then she told me to take three (3!) birth control pills a day for a week. So yesterday morning I took 2...and got sick! The worst part was I was at my friend's Home Interior party when I got sick! Luckily my friends from work were there, and they're used to that kind of stuff, but I was SOOO embarrased! So I took a 25 of Phenergan and slept from 3pm yesterday until 7am this morning. I feel better but still drugged from the phenergan.
I'll try to finish my 100 Things at a later date!!

100 Things

2005-02-17T05:34:00.000-08:00

51. I only have one kidney
52. So I'm not a candidate to be anyone's living donor
53. I earned and expert marksman badge in high school ROTC
54. I was the only girl who did it that year.
55. I'm at work right now

Gotta go!

100 Things continued

2005-02-16T09:52:00.000-08:00

28. I DO have a life!!
29. I also have a very stupid stinky dog
30. She's old
31. But I love her.
32. And one very obese cat with asthma
33. 100 is alot of things. I hope I make it.
34. Are we done yet?
35. When I was growing up I wanted to be a vet.
36. Or a lawyer.
37. I'm neither.
38. I'm a nurse.
39. My mother thought that was very ironic because she thought I'm not compassionate and I dont like to get my hands dirty.
40. I'd say #1:she's right...mercy's NOT my gift.
41. And #2: that's what gloves are for.
42. I didnt really want to go to nursing school.
43. I hated it.
44. They treat you like dogs.
45. The real world is nothing like school.
46. And I do think I'm more compassionate since I had kids.
47. Which is good because I'm a pediatric nurse.
48. If I sit here long enough, I'll make it to 50!!
49. Things, not years.
50. I'm going to take a nap.
To be continued....

100 Things About Me

2005-02-14T12:59:00.000-08:00

1. My favorite color is lime green.
2. Lime green is a hot color this year.
3. My hair is red.
4. Its not my natural color
5. But it goes with my personality, some say.
6. My favorite flower is a yellow rose.
7. Yellow roses are a symbol of friendship.
8. My friend from high school and I used to give each other yellow roses.
9. I havent talked to her in a while. I miss her.
10. I bleed Diet coke.
11. Go Tigers Go!
12. Where are my keys?
13. I'm scatterbrained.
14. I'm a control freak.
15. There is medication for that.
16. I'm on it.
17. It works...when I remember to take it.
18. Are we done yet?
19. I dont want to drive to anywhere I can fly.
20. If its farther than Nashville, I dont want to drive.
21. What if I cant think of 100 things?
22. Ok now I'm worried I cant think of 100 things.
23. Did I take my medicine today?
24. Can you hear me now?
25. Where's the beef?
26. I love the internet.
27. Blogs seem a little voyeristic to me.

To be continued......

The Most Amazing Thing.....(sappy alert)

2005-02-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

The most amazing thing happened to me 10 years ago today! I became a mom. It seemed like it was just a minute ago that he was born. Unplanned but not unwanted. Or unloved. I remember still how excited and happy we were, that my husband cried, and how tired I was but still wanted to jump up and down. Healthy and perfect, now smart and cute and funny and sensitive. I still remember who was the first visitor (our pastor), the first time he smiled, the first tooth, the first step, and all the other firsts. And I thought my life was going to be ruined. So not true. It has been greatly enriched. What on earth did I do before I had kids?? And oh how I thought I could never love another, then came the girl. But thats another post. Thank you, God, for my son.

You might be....

2005-02-05T16:28:00.000-08:00

You might a redneck if you let your momma perm your mullet.

What's that thing on your head?

2005-02-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I went to pick DQ up from play practice, I ran into a lady from church. So we chatted for a moment. The whole entire time we were talking, all she did was stare at my forehead. Yes, I know I have a bump on my head. Ok, its a knot (I'm a knothead). Actually its a lipoma, a big blob of fat (wonder where THAT came from!) right smack in the middle. But she didnt have to STARE at it!! So now I have an appt to see about getting it taken off. It must be getting bigger because more and more people are asking "what happened to your head?" I told my kids it was my unicorn horn stump. But did she have to STARE??

All the Drama....

2005-02-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

Well the kids tried out for a play yesterday and Golden Boy didnt get in. Drama Queen did. So you can fill in the blank as to what happened after that. Its the first time GB got a rejection. Bound to happen sooner or later. He was so upset he said "Well I'm not even gonna GO to the stupid play". But it will be good for DQ to be in the spotlight for a while. I know she feels she lives in the shadow of GB.
Stay tuned for the next episode of....As the world churns.

Hormones

2005-01-29T06:50:00.000-08:00

THE HORMONE WARNING:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate sings

For What its Worth

2005-01-28T05:15:00.000-08:00

I was reading a book about a boy who collects pennies. I thought to myself, who would want to collect pennies? They are annoying. They make my purse heavy and they are dirty. But if you look closely at a penny, there is a message. Right on the top of the Lincoln side. It says "In God We Trust." Now I'm not trying to get into a political discussion about whether our country was founded on christian principles, so chill out. But it could be a reminder for us all to trust in God, in everything, even the littlest thing. After all, the Bible says he knows the # of hairs on our heads. He created each and every one of us individually. And he wants more than anything for us to have a relationship with Him and totally trust in Him. So the next time you see a penny, let it remind you to trust even in the little things. The things that weigh you down, take up space in your life. Be thankful you have a penny. Some people dont have any. If you have one, its because you have a job, or because someone gave it to you.
Ok, I'm off the pulpit now. Thoughts, comments, editorials?

Things that tick me off

2005-01-26T17:58:00.000-08:00

This really ticked me off...yesterday I was late for work. I overslept. The parking lots fill up quickly because its a hospital, most people are in by 8am. So I'm driving around 3 different parking lots to look for a spot. Finally I find one and I'm dashing (2blocks) to work. I pass by a City of Memphis vehicle.....PARKED NEXT TO A FIRE HYDRANT. Ugh. It gets better. IN A NO PARKING ZONE. Here comes the guy who's driving it. Guess what he's been doing? WRITING TICKETS. The day went downhill from there. I just wanted to go home and start over!!

Woo Hoo

2005-01-26T05:39:00.000-08:00

This is my first post, and my first attempt at something called blogging.
My thing is, who is going to care about anything I have to say? My family doesnt listen to me, I dont even listen to me! So here's what I'll do. I'll put on here anything that comes to my mind about my life or my day, provided its clean and short. You post your comments and we'll see what happens.
Have a great day!